Rant of the week: Tube paper readers

At the best of the times using the tube network means leaving your manners on the platform.

It’s a curious place where usual British codes of conduct are left by the wayside oftening resulting in chaos.

The underground killed chivalry; young men refuse to give up seats for old ladies and women in pushchairs are shoved aside by businessmen trying to get on at Canada Water.

But this week I noticed a new breed of tube commuter - the paper reader.

Seemingly innocuous the paper ready keeps quiet and rarely peers over the top of the Financial Times to even be noticed.

However, their pattern of behaviour changes dramatically as the train gets busier.

Despite not having enough room to take my hands out of my pockets on the Jubilee Line this week, optimistic newspaper readers have been trying to maintain their habits.

And it was bloody annoying.

I stood in front of one woman who tutted, sighed and moaned every time the train lurched and I brushed against her copy of The Metro.

At one point the train stopped and I knocked the paper clean out of her hand and almost failed to stifle a chuckle as she didn’t even have the room to bend over and pick it up again.

From Monday, I’m going to make it my mission to nudge any idiot who thinks that they have the space to read a broadsheet on a packed train.

And when they react with Superman eye lasers - I’ll pretend it wasn't me.