Leigh-Ervin Jackson: Journal of a Journalist

Five rudest songs of all time

2011-08-22T13:17:00.006Z

The annals of music history are bursting with songs that have offended the milder ears down the years. Notable tunes which caused controversy and moral panic, include 1980s hit Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Since I Had You by Marvin Gaye and Donna Summers’ classic marathon Love to Love You Baby.

However, mild references to ejaculation and the sounds of a sexual climax, are nothing compared to lengths the artists have gone too on these filthy efforts.

Akinyele - Put in your mouth

As the unsubtle title of this number suggests, this song is an essay on oral sex. No subtlety required here, as the outro reveals.

Filthiest bit
You wanna go down why not
I be like Herbie and han you a cock

R Kelly – 12 Play

RnB fans will be well versed on the sexual tendencies of Chicago freak R Kelly. At one point in 12 Play, a tune from the 1993 album by the same name, he lists a multi-point sexual action plan he is hoping to deliver on an unsuspecting lady - like a really dity political manifesto.

Filthiest bit
Spread your legs apart
Feel me, I'm so hard

Big Pun – I’m not a Player

Big Pun, perhaps one of the dirtiest rappers of all time, earns his place in the forum of filth by dropping the C-bomb in the second verse (the entire verse is jaw-droppingly obscene) of this 1998 O’Jays-sampling smash.

Filthiest bit
Excuse me for being blunt
But I been eating c***s, since pimps is pushing
Pink Caddies with the fish tank pumps

Ying Yang Twins – Wait (Whisper Song)

It’s no wonder the Ying Yang Twins whisper all the lyrics to their 2005 song Wait, it is so obscene, and sexually threatening, that rapping out loud would have made them blush.

Filthiest bit
Ay bitch! wait til you see my dick
Imma beat dat p***y up

My Dick

The now deceased Puerto Rican rap star was so much in love with his appendage he penned an ode to his manhood in 2000. So moving it is almost like Shakespeare.

Filthiest Bit
Now you gon' get what you deserve
That's my dick in your mouth

Five films that should never have been made

2011-08-08T14:55:00.007Z

Poetic Justice

John Singleton must have been sitting at his desk in 1992 wondering how to follow up his Oscar nominated Boyz’ n the Hood. He needn’t have bothered. Janet Jackson, who plays Justice, is a street poet from the ghetto who “discovers herself”. Some soundtracks are better than their movies but rarely by such wide a margin.

PS I Love You

The burgeoning prince of rom coms Gerard Butler plays a young lover who dies “suddenly” of a brain tumour but has the foresight to leave his wife, Hilary Swank, a series of creepy sugary hallmark messages from beyond the grave. As terrible as it sounds.

Thirteen Ghosts

Some rappers; Tupac, Method Man, Mos Def, make plausible actors. But whoever cast Rah Digga in this movie needs shooting. Digga, real name Rashia Fisher, plays the stereotype of a sterotype of a feisty African American woman, who snaps her fingers at all manner of ghouls. Oh know she didn’t!

Synecdoche, New York

Never has a film promised so much and delivered so little. The premise, a theatre director who decides to make a play about his life, is a good one. But it doesn’t take long for the pretentious movie to disappear up its on arse. It only began to make sense after it finished and I was able to look on Google. Probably got five stars in Empire.

Friday after Next

Friday = good. Next Friday = pants. Friday after next = diabolical. One joke was never going to last for three movies. Most people probably don’t even know Friday is a trilogy.

Didn’t they do well: Unlikely rises to stardom

2011-06-26T18:01:00.003Z

Looking back at the careers of many of the most loved celebrities, it is a wonder how some - considering their uninspiring beginnings - made it to the top.

Ant and Dec

Now the UK’s favourite presenting pair, it is easy to forget that the Geordie duo began their careers in naff BBC kid’s programmes Why Don’t You? and Byker Grove. They even had time to make a number of cringeworthy hip-hop inspired records before finally landing their breakthrough gig as the hosts of Saturday morning programme SMTV Live. A far cry indeed from the X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent.

Guy Pearce

The English-born star of The King’s Speech, LA Confidential and Memento took the scenic route to stardom. Moving to Australia when he was still a toddler the young Mr Pearce was Mike Young in Neighbours and a bit-part player in Home and Away before Hollywood came calling.

Ian Wright

He might be a second-rate pundit and presenter today but it easy to forget that the former Arsenal and Crystal Palace star was once one of England’s most exciting footballers. The former record goalscorer for the Gunners, who also has 33 caps to his name, was a 22-year-old amateur before exploding into the big time after being spotted for the Eagles while playing for Dulwich Hamlet.

Happy Gilmore

Adam Sandler’s 1996 character Happy Gilmore was a wannabe hockey player and all-round loser before taking up golf in a bid to save his grandmother’s home. Spotted by one-handed coach Chubbs Peterson, Gilmore’s long drive took pro golf by storm helping the hot-head to victory in the Tour Championship against Shooter McGavin.

Colonel Sanders

The King of fried chicken was a steamboat pilot, farmer and insurance salesman before first serving his trademark to the dishes. He didn’t even develop his secret recipe until he was 49 - leaving him just 41 years to enjoy his finger licking creations until his death in 1980 aged 90.

Bunch of fives: 90s Nostalgia

2011-01-23T12:55:00.009Z

For people 25 and above the 1990s represents the very pinnacle of popular culture. Too young to own fond memories of the neon glitz and glamour of the 80s, in the 90s today’s twentysomethings did their growing up alongside Bart Simpson and spent the formative years on the Sony Playstation and listening to Brit Pop.

It no particular order, and with no claims to greatness, here are five of the things that made the 90s memorable.

Pogs

The PlayStation was the must have games system of the decade but the console couldn’t match the sheer collectability of pogs. The game, which consisted on stacking up and knocking over discs of card, became popular enough to become the scourge of teachers up and down the country. It was banned at least twice at my school for causing fights. Walker’s crisps Tazos are often considered their poor relation but were equally as good.

My issues with Bizspeak

2010-10-25T16:06:00.007Z

Anyone who has read George Orwell’s 1984 will be familiar with newspeak.

In a bid to crush free thinking and creativity the IngSoc party - the government of the dystopian Orwellian future - erase words from the English language to create a stunted charmless functional new lexicon.

Those who are yet to read the novel but have spent anytime working in an office, will still be familiar with Bizspeak.

To sound intelligent businessmen and women invent, twist or change the meaning of existing words to create a corporate langauge of jargon filled unintelligible bollocks which makes normal people curl thier toes in pure cringeworthiness.

The Bizspeak top 5

Synergy

Meaning two forces working together. Used as team name in The Apprentice every season. The word is not actually new, it’s Ancient Greek, but has been seized by corporates. Usually used just after a merger and right again before most of the new people - who fail to synergise - get the boot.

Value-add

Apparently when providing a service, it is not only the service itself which is important. It is also the value added by said service. Used by companies who are too crap to provide the service promised in the first place.

Touchbase

Apparently “lets touchbase” is Bizspeak for “let’s have a meeting”. Often said using microphone headsets, grinning stupidly and leaning back in an wheeled office chair. Also has to be said loud enough for the rest of the office to hear. Why touchbase without anyone else knowing?

Moving forward

This one is a staple of salesfolk. Quite why you cannot simply say ‘the future’ when you are selling toner remains a mystery.

Skill-set

A skill-set is always discussed when a new person joins a firm and simply means skills, or in most cases, the number of lies told on a CV. “His/her skill set is in synergy with what we need at this company, after we touched base last week we had to offer them the job due to their value add”.

Bunch of fives: Five things that ruin Facebook

2010-09-24T15:49:00.006Z

Using Facebook is like the social networking equivalent of meeting an ex after a messy break-up. Parts of it are so good you wondered how you ever lived without it, but most of it makes you wonder why you ever fancied it in the first place.

The Facebook break-up

Breaking up with someone on the phone is bad, breaking up with someone via text is worse, breaking up with someone on Facebook is unforgiveable.

The cry for attention

Leigh Jackson is... having the worst day ever.

Who cares? If you need to vent go and call a friend. Having 30 people replying to status updates to check on your sanity won’t make you feel any better. Having no-one reply is fail.

Unusual friend requests

I never spoke to you in high school. Why would I speak to you now?

Shit games

Vampire bite, Bear Hug, Farmville… the list is endless! Play shit games in your time, without sending me endless wall posts with top scores.

The Facebook poke

If you can’t be bothered to exercise your fingers and type someone a message reconsider your friendship.

The dress code short straw

2010-04-27T18:07:00.005Z

There is often talk of the differences in norms and values between the sexes but the dress code has to be at the forefront of the stakes of injustice.

As a man I can grudgingly admit that there are some advantages to owning a penis, inlcuding guilt free sleeping around and the ability to urinate standing-up.

But I would consider trading both for more leniency when it comes to sensible business wear.

Men, either in the office, at a party or a wedding reception, have a lack of serious options for meeting those two hard to define words – smart casual.

Jeans won’t get the job done, and there is never a suitable occasion for formal shorts. Which leaves one option – the trusty shirt and trouser combo.

The more flamboyant can dress it up with a tank-top, jumper or maybe even a loosened tie but we are seriously bereft of options.

The fairer sex, on the other hand, have more choice than is proper and decent. Their sheer breadth of shoes says it all – all we have is black, brown, laces or loafers.

Don’t get me wrong - I am definitely pro choice. It’s the abuse to the system that this freedom of choice allows which must no longer go unchallenged.

As men have been stuck in the uncomfortable trousers and their stuffy shirts for as long as I can remember, fashion conscious women have been blurring the smart casual line for years.

Leggings are replacing trousers, boots are walking in the place of shoes and skirts are begin to work their way further and further up the leg.

But it is acceptable because it looks good. Very good in most cases!

So this not a plea for a return to strict Amish style office wear for women, it is just a simple plea for fairness, equal rights and egalitarianism.

And, of course, to be able to dress like a scruff at all times. What does smart casual mean anyway?

Both feet in the rugby camp

2010-03-17T19:30:00.006Z

Like the third round of the FA Cup and the Ashes test series, the Six Nation’s Rugby is one of those marquee sporting events that I have to mark on the sporting calendar.

But only because I want to avoid it.

I have a curious aversion to the game - and that is not fair on the game itself. As a sport, rugby can be intense, exciting and dramatic. It's the fans I don’t like.

Perhaps that is harsh because the majority of fans are great – especially the Irish, the Welsh and Scots . It’s just the England supporters that boil my blood.

But it’s not all of them. Like the England football fans, where a minority are unbearable, there is a small group of national rugby fans who are so cringeworthy that I can only look at them through the cracks of my fingers.

And what it boils down to is whether you are in the rugby or the 'ruggers' camp. I know where I stand.

It’s the Toff Tofington crowd that I can't abide, the fans who proudly sing Swing Low Sweet Chariot without knowing its roots in slavery and cling to the Calcutta Cup oblivious to its nod to the dark days of imperlaism.

Every rugby fan knows at least one supporter who fits the indetikit.

They are the fans who go to the pub in their replica shirts with upturned collars and loafers and loathe football for its “common” roots.

They pedal the myth that rugby is for thugs but played by gentleman, despite the spear tackling, the eye gouging and the arse poking in the scrum.

They treat rugby like a mark of class. A badge of exclusivity that separates the middle class wheat from the working class chaff.

At least you can watch football down the local, away from the hooray Henrys and Henriettas who are trying to seize the game for themselves.

I will be watching the weekend games but purely from the safety of my own home.

Then I’ll hold my breath before I have to go through it all again next year.

Trying to defend the indefensible

2010-01-22T17:25:00.002Z

My housemate and I have been friends for more than 20 years and on the way to the tube station last week, via memory lane, the topic of conversation turned to childhood.

We started talking about living with our parents, the things we used to annoy them and their, often failed, attempts at trying to rein us in.

All the standard fare got a mention. The ‘wait until your father gets home’, the grounding (usually lasting for just a few hours) and the often underrated, and now frowned upon, slap.

Then out of nowhere, he said: “Did you ever get accused of showing off?”

It was something I had long forgotten and brought back vivid memories of the hundreds of occasions when my Mum, trying to get me to stop acting up when we had company, would level the immortal accusation.

“All the time,” I said. “And it always worked!”

And it did. The words could make the most unruly teenager stop in their tracks and rack their brains for the best response.

But there isn’t one. And therein was its power.

What could you say that wouldn’t make things worse? Denying that you were showing off always made it look as if you were being nonchalant about showing off – thus making you look even more like a show off.

And admitting to it made you look arrogant. It was like saying “I am showing off. And what of it?”

There was even the schoolmate version. If your mates ever needed to bring you down a peg or two they could accuse you of fancying someone – the least appealing the better because whatever you said just made things worse.

It’s the golden ticket of controlling behaviour – I just wish there was an adult equivalent.

The telephone voice

2010-01-05T17:43:00.004Z

The majority of people I have spoken to in the past few days will probably have forgotten the sound of my voice already.

It’s nothing personal – I don’t stutter, I don’t have a serious lisp and I don’t squeak. My voice is that of a bog standard man, with a Luton dialect and a spattering of slang.

But all bets are off if you call me in the office.

People who have spoken to me on my work number would certainly remember my high-pitched, overly-eloquent, trying-to-sound-important-but-failing tones.

Anyone who wants evidence of this need only call the office after 6pm to behold my business answerphone message in all its glory.

Admittedly, at first I thought it was just me. Then I was able to listen closely to my colleagues and knew I was in good company.

Even my contacts at other companies do it.

One lady I met sounded like Kathy Burke when I met her face-to-face, which was particularly funny as I mistook her for Joanna Lumley when she phoned me the day before.

But what is the reason for the plummy, over the top, wordy way of speaking to business contacts when most people talk to their mates they are just their usual foul-mouthed, inarticulate selves?

What is it about the office phone that turns Len Goodman into Stephen Fry?

Is it a need to feel comfortable among colleagues and contacts? Is it to impress others? Or do we all secretly want to sound posh. And do posh sounding people use more slang and drop their ‘t’s when speaking on the office phone?

My conclusion is that I don’t know. It’s a complete mystery to me.

All I know is that it won’t stop!

Black to the future

2009-12-17T19:06:00.007Z

I can’t help looking at the escapades of Doc and Marty with great envy.

Ok, so I haven’t yet invented the flux capacitor and I haven’t figured out how to generate 1.2 giggawatts of power but my attempts at time travel have been doomed to failure since the day I was born.

I would like a go at surfing the time continuium but as a black man the chances of me enjoying a flying DeLorean are slim.

I reckon I, and most other ethnic people, would enjoy the future – especially with Barack Obama around to shape it.

But how would we fare in the past?

McFly was able to go back 1885 and 1985 relatively unfettered. Granted, his modern clothes looked stupid but that would be the least of my problems.

The 16th to the 19th centuries are out immediately, as is the American Deep South during most of the 20th century (to be fair I wouldn’t visit during the present day) and I would stick out a mile as a serf in feudal England.

I don’t often feel the need to issue advice but if I was ever asked I would respond as follows: always be polite, treasure your friends and never, under any circumstances, travel faster than 88 mph.

The results may not be as exciting as they seem.

Childen in need... of a drink?

2009-12-04T16:26:00.006Z

Looking back fondly on our teenage years, we all remember being turfed out or refused service at a pub, bar or some kind other drinking establishment.

Memories of sending my tallest friend (measuring a jaw-dropping 6’3 at just 15) into our local off-license to buy as many bottles of Hooch and WKD as we could carry still bring a smile to my face.

And while the pimpled faced youth of today remain unwelcome in places for adults, there has been a emerging trend in even younger pub patrons... toddlers.

I don’t remember it becoming acceptable, welcome or fashionable but there seems to be an explosion of parents smuggling their very young children into bars.

I was with my sister in a pub a couple of Sundays ago and we were almost outnumbered by the little people.

Children were skipping around, toddlers were sitting in high chairs mashing their fists into food and parents were looking on admiringly wherever I turned.

And this was in the middle of the night.

Not having children myself, I’m not in a position to say what is good parenting and what isn’t but it seemed unfair to both the other drinkers and – ironically- the children themselves.

As an adult, the pub hasn’t managed to retain any of its mystique. Literally they are places that just serve alcohol – usually at rip off rates.

So, simply put – for a child – the pub is boring. Which was probably the reason why everyone under five feet tall was engaged in a game of tag.

And like all the other drinkers, I had to mind my ps and qs. No rude jokes, no swearing and no objectifying the opposite sex.

It seemed a tad selfish of the parents to me – the pub is clearly a place not meant for the under 18’s let alone the under 5s.

Maybe pubs should have special areas for children... or maybe parents should leave the young ‘uns at home and let us joyless, childless folk pickle our livers in peace.

Champoholics Anonymous

2009-08-18T18:31:00.004Z

Tidying my room last week and flicking through various CDs and games I came over all nostalgic when I realised that I had at least three 2D soccer simulation gems.

It pains me to admit that I still occasionally play Football Manager 2008 but nothing could beat the heady days of gambling away your future by starting up a game of Champ at the most inopportune moment.

My GCSE revision was interrupted on by my love for CM9798, playing the diamond with Barcelona and Juventus and buying in gems like Ibrahima Bakayoko, Richard Wright and Tom Youngs.

While doing my A Levels it was Championship Manager 3 and the new interface that was probably a contributing factor to my failure to make it to Nottingham Law School.

And even my degree suffered as I managed to take lowly Stevenage Borough through the league system from the Conference to the Uefa Cup on Football Manager 2005.

There were times when I would play for days at time – barely moving for the computer and only stopping to eat.

At times the love of the game can reduce the most civilized man into an unwashed, gibbering fool who is more interested in gaining promotion with York City than doing something more useful.

But who wouldn’t prefer comparing the merits of Luis Figo (20 for passing) and Zinedine Zidane (18 for shooting) than memorise a detailed history of equity and trust case law.

The worst thing about Champ addiction is that it blurs the lines of reality and fiction – at times I have had to remind my self that Arsenal didn’t sign Fernando Torres in 2006 and then go on to win back to back quadruples.

I’m going to have to write to the manufacturers and ask them to slip a sticker on the front cover. Warning: Champ ruins lives.

Better still we could all get together (and I know there is a lot of us) and start up a support group - Champoholics Anonymous.

“My name’s Leigh.... And I’m a Champoholic.”

Conversations I wish I had been a part of

2009-05-14T17:47:00.008Z

Some people love London for the nightlife, others enjoy the food and some get a thrill out of being part of the world's most diverse city.

Personally, being a nosy bastard, I love the human drama.

Anyone who lives in the capital will know that it is difficult to exist without seeing mankind both at its best and its worst.

As people watching is my pasttime (I'm not a stalker by the way) I often overhear snippets of other people's phone conversations.

There have been a couple of incidents in the last month which made me wish I was the guy on the other end of the line.

Coming out of Tesco a couple of weeks I almost bumped into a posh woman talking on her mobile to who, due to the harsh tone, must have been her boyfriend.

“Darren!," she yelled. "I’ve told you a million fucking times that I can’t come. I’m in Namibia for a month.”

Poor Darren - he must keep forgetting about that. I didn't hear his response but I wouldn't have been suprised if he was grovelling.

The other was clearly between a couple of guys. It had to be - it was embellishment about a fight that had taken place the night before.

I was coming back from the Arsenal - Man City game at the Emirates and heard a burly Gooner say into his handset.

“You should have been there man. He got sparked out by a 15 year-old."

For good measure he added: "Cold!”

I almost pissed myself.

Sounded like a good fight though.

Apparently the teen is talks to fight Ricky Hatton!

Know your audience

2009-04-26T18:45:00.003Z

Even though I am not a comedian I get the idea that a key element of good joke telling is knowing your audience.

Seeing two jokes fall flat on their face in the last two weeks illustrated the point perfectly.

The first was at work, when I overheard two of my colleagues talking about babysitting.

Being new, I imagined it would be a good time for some team building. After all humour can build bridges... when it is appropriate.

So one of my workmates is explaining that she is looking after one of her nephews for the weekend.

“He can be a handful,” she says. “But my boyfriend is with me so we can probably manage him together.”

Without even thinking I said: “One of you can hold him and the other can beat him!”

Stunned silence.

My housemate would have laughed his ass off!

In the second incident the joke was on me. I was on the train to Wembley to see Arsenal v Chelsea in the FA Cup and the train was rammed.

At the next stop a giant of a Chelsea fan squeezes himself on... despite the fact that I am already being felt up (not by design!) by an old man.

I was reaching for my pockets to pull out my Mp3 player and he mistakenly thought I was trying to reach for his.

Without a trace of a mile on his face he says: “If you take anything out of my pocket I will remember your face, find you and kill you.”

The he bursts into gales of laughter.

All I could think of was the quickest way of changing my pants.

Forced sisterhood?

2009-04-07T21:15:00.004Z

A million comedians have told a million jokes about the subtle and not so subtle differences between the two sexes.

Men are competitive, aggressive and forthright, while women are sensitive, intuitive and caring.

And for the most part a lot of it is utter nonsense and overblown stereotype.

Who doesn’t know (and love) aggressive members of the fairer sex and how many women adore sensitive men?

The only thing that always makes me, and probably millions of other men, laugh is the idea of sisterhood.

What is it about girl power? How are sisters doing it for themselves? And what does 'you go girl' actually mean?

Ironically, It's all a load of bollocks.

How many women tell their friends they are well dressed but then tell everyone how awful they look when there back is turned?

How many woman mercilessly insult another women and then smile enthusiastically and hug and kiss them when they turn up at their local?

How many women praise each other on their looks, weight and body shape until they get into a particularly nasty argument?

Men too can be cutting and cruel…but too each other’s faces.

Most importantly, we don’t form cliques and pretend to like each other just because we have matching genitalia.

It’s silly to think that all women should get along just because they are women.

Women should take a leaf out of the manual and just admit that they are envious of their better looking rivals, be honest enough to tell each other when they look crap or open enough to tell someone a dickhead when the situation warrants it.

In some respects women really do need to man up.

An evening with Walsh and the Beckhams

2009-04-05T15:35:00.003Z

This week I was lucky enough to be invited for a dose of Wembley corporate hospitality by Royal Bank of Scotland Insurance.

Having never been in one of the boex at Wembley, I was impressed with the surroundings and, of course, made sure I had as much free beer and pies as possible.

Before the game started, someone mentioned that the Beckham’s had a box at Wembley, which happened to be just a couple of boxes down from our own.

Once they game had kicked off Victoria came out of with the boys and took their sets, which, in part was more exciting than the game itself.

I never thought that seeing famous people would massively excite me – after all they are just like me and you – but happen to be exposed to the glare of the media.

And for the time being I was relatively calm.

Even when Brooklyn started play-fighting with one of numerous security guards and was disciplined by his Victoria in public I was not overwhelmed by their star status.

However, that was all about to change.

After half-time, out of nowhere, Tommy Walsh came to share I box and I couldn't contain myslef.

Before, he had even taken his seat I had enthusiastically thrust my hand towards him and introduced myself.

As he sat talking about his journey – I was listening.

As he was regailing the PRs with tales of charity football with David Beckham – I was listening.

When he was telling his young son about his friendship with the guys in Spandau Ballet – I was listnening.

I was so absorbed I didn’t actually see much of the second half and I managed to take a couple of stealth picture of him.

Even though Heat Magazine wasn't interested in them I didn’t care… I bloody love Ground Force!

Casual smokers

2009-03-29T17:46:00.002Z

Not content with being unhealthy I am also slowly smoking myself into an early grave.

Unlike some smokers I picked up the habit fairly late and the moment I came to terms with smoking I felt stupid.

Not because smoking is inherently bad for you (or that it makes you a social leper) but because I used to be a preachy non-smoker.

And there is little worse than that...except for a casual smoker.

The transition from non-smoker to lung blackener is gradual process.

Now I am out of the smoking closet, have left the self denial behind and come to terms with it, it is impossible not to look back at myself and cringe.

Like looking back at old photos of yourself with once fashionable clothes or stupid hair there is nothing more embrassing than the phases of being a a smoker.

And it’s all because the phases between becoming an adolescent smoker and an adlt smoker are so annoying.

Fellow smokers, have you noticed that when non-smokers tell you how badly you are killing your lungs, casual smoker remain strangely quiet and never mention the fact that they smoke?

And casual smokers only smoke, or so they claim, socially – when they are having a drink.

But by far the worst is that they hunt in groups. And then they bum your cigarettes – never before has a pack of ten so quickly turned into a pack of two.

Casual smokers have a little smoker inside them struggling, scratching and clawing their way out desperate to blacken their lungs.

Either let the little bastard run free – or have the will be to commit an act of violence him.

Whatever you decide go and buy your own!

Racial profiling

2009-03-14T10:25:00.001Z

As sure as an Englishman will always acknowledge a fellow Brit abroad, minority groups do much of the same here in the UK.

As a black person I often acknowledge other black people when I see them in public. Usually a nod of the head followed by us both muttering “alright” quietly and then going our separate ways.

It is not just black phenomenon either, I have seen my Asian friends do the same thing. In fact it is not even strictly a racial thing. If I see other Arsenal fans I will nod and mutter at them too.

It works particularly well when you are in a place where you are less likely to find people of the same background. It worked much better when I lived in Preston compared to where I live now in East London.

Some of my friends think it is strange and perhaps even racist. But it’s just a bit of fun… or so I used to think.

It seems that people are racially profiling me to make me do shit for them.

This phenomenon, which I call getting ‘blacked’ (insert your own racial term where appropriate), occurs when people try to use your colour as a flimsy pretext to get you do something for them.

I am always getting ‘blacked’ by the guy who sells The Nation newspaper, I constantly get ‘blacked’ by a tramp I see on Oxford Street and the 1,000 yard is useless against the charity guys who ‘black’ me almost on a daily basis.

And some people actually fall for it. Some guys hand over money and give up time on the basis of it.

Not me though – I’ve decided to walk with my head down from now on.

Of mice and men

2009-02-21T08:49:00.002Z

As a man I am faced with a common dilemma.

At what point is it acceptable to confront a fellow guy? The issue can be very murky - a number of variables come into play. Is he bigger than me? Has he got hard mates? Will my mates run away if all hell breaks lose?

Then of course there is whether or not you should even raise your hands in anger? My clenched hands are pacifists and rarely strike people.

However, at the weekend my commitment to remaining calm was tested to the limits.

It’s Saturday and I’m in Market Place – great music but aggressive regulars – so the chances of trouble are high..

Needing a drink I fight my way to the bar and ordered four bottles of beer (I’m not flash it was on offer for £10!).

On my way back a guy cheekily asks me if he can have one of my drinks. I laugh and continuing trying to battle my way back to my spot on the dancefloor.

“Give me one of your drinks,” the comedian says. He grabs one of the bottles in my hand and tries to wrench it from my grip.

With my hands full he manages to grasp it and, before I can remonstrate, he’s taken a large swing from the bottle.

Crunch time.

I turn back to fight my case, after all, I’m no mug, I’m a big lad, I can handle myself, this man is taking a liberty.

I spin on my heels.

He’s bigger than I remember.

"The bastards!"

2008-12-19T18:55:00.002Z

The policeman and I looked into my bedroom.

The contents of the bottom draw had been strewn everywhere - including the emptied cases of a few racy DVDs.

“They took your smut too?” the officer said smiling. I nodded, like every man I thought they were well hidden. “The bastards!” He added laughing.

Rewind five hours and I hadn’t even contemplated that my flat was in the process of being ransacked. The thing about being burgled is that you never think it will happen to you.

So after having a few post-work drinks and picking up some take away on the way home -I did not entertain the belief that I could have been robbed - even after my key got stuck in the door.

After 15 frustrating minutes of standing in my hallway I decided to call a locksmith, who, as it turned out, would also rob me later that night.

The locksmith - who kept reminding me his company was called Goldilocks (like it was the wittiest company known to man) - had spent a full hour trying to open my door when the guys upstairs came in from their night out.

And that was the first time thieves crossed my mind.

“You sure you haven’t been burgled?” one of them said.

“I don’t think so,” I replied. “Wouldn’t my door be open if I had?”

How wrong I turned out to be. Once Mr Goldilocks opened my front door all my possessions - and my housemates possessions were strewn across the floor. I assumed that shelf had collapsed.

But when I saw the hole where the Wii and TV used to be my heard sank.

“That’s £150 please,” Goldilocks muttered refusing to look me in the eye. “Sorry about the burglary.”

After another 90 minutes the police finally turn-up.

Apparently the thieves cam through my housemates window - which they crowed open - and then ran to the front and latched the door.

So now they are enjoying our Wii, TV, computer monitors, cameras, clothes, PSPs and trainers.

Not to mention my collection of films under my socks in the bottom draw.

Meeting Francis O’Keefe

2008-11-18T14:52:00.003Z

As my ex-girlfriend would no doubt agree, I have a strange habit of attracting weirdos.

Whether I’m on the train, in the supermarket or just walking down the street crazy people seem to be drawn to me like a magnet.

Last weekend I’m back in Luton. It's Sunday and i'm in a pub sitting with my Dad and a friend of the family. A man walks over and asks to sit down.

The man, an old Glaswegian fella, looks harmless enough and settles down with a pint of Guinness.

While I’m looking at a pretty brunette in the corner playing the games machine, the man mistakenly thinks that I’m trying to make eye contact with him.

Just looking at him has sealed my fate. He has made a friend.

The white-haired man stands up and thrusts a hand in my direction. I take it and shake it.

“I have never met a black man,” he slurs.

I start to worry, he's clerly drunk... and by the sound of it he's probably a bit prejudice.

“I have never met a white man, or a green man or a yellow man,” he adds.

Okay, so he’s not racist, just a little drunk. I think about what he says. In it's own way it's profound - if a little cliched.

“I’m Francis O’Keefe – will you walk with me?” At that point I begin to have doubts about his sanity.

“I guess so,” I reply. I wish I could move seats because I want to laugh – and if you laugh at a wild-eyed drunk.

“I believe in two things,” Francis continues. “Love and care. Will you walk with me brother because If not you can just fuck off.”

I look over at my Dad and he’s laughing… I drink the rest of my drink swiftly signalling that I think it’s time to go.

As I get up to leave Francis stops me. And thrusts his hand out again…

“I’m Francis, I have never met a black man,” he says again.

He clearly has no recogniton of the converstaion we have had little more than five minutes ago.

I have to get out or I'll burst. Laughing into my hand I quickly put me coat on - as I leave, Francis waves warmly.

As the pub door swings closed I have another quick look in at my new friend.

He’s ambling towards the games machine with his hand thrust out in front of him.

Beggars and choosers

2008-10-26T08:29:00.002Z

There’s an old saying – which I think is British – that perfectly sums up our collective attitude to gratitude…beggars can’t be choosers.

Personally, I think it’s pretty apt. If you’re in need all donations should be gratefully received but apparently not everyone shares my views.

I found this out to my peril on Friday night. I’m out in Soho with my housemate, my colleagues and some of their buddies and we’re standing outside a pub.

The weekend’s finally come out of hiding and we’re in high spirits; smoking and drinking and laughing.

And then, out of the corner of my eye, I see a homeless woman ambling towards us.

I immediately begin to look solemn (for some reason I think it’s disrespectful to look too happy in front of the destitute) and begin rooting around my pocket for loose change.

I always try and give money to the homeless – not because I’m charity minded but because I believe in Karma – but being on the breadline myself there is only so much I can give.

So the homeless woman, seeing that I’m feeling charitable, come and stands next to our group with an old coffee cup in her hand and extends it in my direction.

My hand is in my pocket looking for a suitable donation, and the first coin my hand settles on is a five pence piece.

I smile at the homeless lard, feeling the warm glow that only comes form helping your fellow man, and place the coin in the cup.

She smile back....until she looks down and notices the denomination of the coin I’ve handed over.

Angrily, and with a look of utter disdain on her face, she empties the cup in my hand - which only had my shiny coin in it in the first place - and rages off.

I look at my drinking buddies no utterly bemused and they look back barely containing their amusement.

I guess beggars can be choosers.

PDA (Public Displays of Affection)

2008-10-04T21:32:00.001Z

Being single – and I’m sure other singletons agree – that there is nothing worse than PDA.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with holding hands on the street. A cuddle in the park is also fine in my books. Even kissing on the tube is alright.

But dry humping near Oxford Circus station at rush hour is enough to make anyone feel queasy.

I’m leaving work with my colleague and as we round the corner to the tube station the resident homeless fella (which I have nicknamed Rufus – I don’t know why…he kind of looks like a Rufus) is leaning against the wall opposite.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see that his hips are thrusting but as he’s usually drunk at this time I just blame on Stella.

But on closer inspection his girlfriend (who I call Jane. Don’t ask) has her legs wrapped his waist and is enthusiastically bucking up against him.

All this at 5.30pm on a weekday – what’s more no-else seems to mind, or perhaps care, as they continue their daily dash out of the City.

My colleague, who was also been looking on chuckles and says “Jealous?”

I don’t even dignify it with a response.

The Nike Human Race

2008-09-02T19:37:00.005Z

On Sunday I ran 10km.

I don’t know how I managed it but I did it.

About six weeks ago my housemate charitably entered me into the Human Race - 10km of sheer hell for the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

Its not that I’m not charity minded but my first answer was no. I’d rather donate the money than kill myself pretending to be a long-distance runner.

In truth I did it for my housemate. He had two decades in friendship in the bank and I didn’t want to let him down, so in exchange for some running shoes I reluctantly agreed.

As part of my strenuous training regime, which only began three weeks before the start of the race, I cut back to two cigarettes a day and had take-away only twice a week.

Also I thought it would be wise if I began to run.

So every day for the last three weeks (apart from the mornings when I couldn’t get out of bed) I went for a 2k run and by Sunday it was the furthest I had ever run without coughing up my insides.

But I ran around the streets of Wembley without stopping.

I didn’t care that old men, pregnant women and one-legged midgets all sprinted past me, I was intent on achieving something for men of my ilk.

So I dedicate my time of 73 minutes (and my Nike Run T-Shirt) to all other overweight, out of shape, nicotine addicted men roped into a cause they never wanted to be a part of.

If I can do it anyone can.

My race result (http://nikeplus.nike.com/nikeplus/humanrace/leaderboard.jsp) 166,000 out of 1.1m worldwide.

Are you really that hungry?

2008-08-26T11:43:00.002Z

A couple of Sundays ago I was out in North London with my flatmate, his girlfriend and his brother and on the way back we decided to pick up something quick for dinner.

We’re walking to the bus stop when my housemate points and says ‘Waitrose’ - already I’m prepared for the worst.

I never feel comfortable in that place. They should have pictures of Jeremy Clarkson outside with a sign saying ‘You have to be at least this middle-class to enter'.

Not wanting to be the nay-sayer I agree and we begin wandering around looking for the basics for a lazy Sunday lunch so I amble over to the rotisserie chicken counter.

As a basic rule I am less and less surprised by what I see in supermarkets these days. Living in London anything goes in the local Safeway.

A sight I see more often than others is children eating.

Mothers too weary to fight with their nippers give up and let their child eat a packet of crisps as they walk round the store, presenting the empty bag to an annoyed cashier at the till to pay for it.

So – with that in mind - I’m waiting for my lemon and garlic whole chicken when a man sidles up to the counter next to me struggling to open a large box.

I turn my head to see what he’s doing just as he begins to sink his teeth into a Waitrose family size quiche.

I know that food shopping on an empty stomach is a bad idea but are you really that hungry?

Just an average European nation

2008-08-06T20:50:00.002Z

British sport officially died in London on November 25th 1953.

Prior to England’s football match with Hungary they had not lost a match against a team outside the British Isles at Wembley since 1901.

The visitors won 6-3 and, after such a loss, you would have thought that the misplaced belief of England’s tactical and physical superiority would have died that day too.

But it didn’t. More than 50 years on the ‘Rule Britannia’ mentality still lives on – and it is rife in almost all sports.

If we really that great we would surely have more than one football and one rugby world title to show for it.

And with the Olympic games just days away there is talk of Britain bringing home a record medal haul.

Aside from the talents of Colin Jackson, Sally Gunnell and Linford Christie there has been very few world class British athletes to shout about in the last 15 years.

Like most people I’m sick of pretending to be interested in rowing or the ‘brave’ efforts of Paula Radcliffe – who will probably quit again if she can’t make the podium.

For the first time in half a century let’s be honest about our prospects.

We won’t win the World cup.

We won’t win the Ashes

And we won’t bring home a sackful of gold medals.

It’s about time we accepted our true place in the sporting world as an average European nation and not a global superpower.

People watching…because humans do the strangest things

2008-08-03T22:03:00.002Z

The Vikings

I’m on the tube with my brother and we’re coming back from watching the Emirates Cup. I’m happy that we’ve got seats until he reminds that we’ve just lost to Juventus and I put my stern face back on.

I remind him that we need to change at Holborn so we amble towards the doors. As the train pulls into the station we notice three girls dressed as Vikings complete with horn hats and extra small Scandinavian smocks (which I doubt were ever worn during that era).

My brother tells me that it must be a hen party, we both shake our heads and tut and such behaviour. As we get off the train I sneakily crane my head to get another look until my I receive a sharp brotherly nudge in the ribs for being so obvious.

As I walk up the platform I notice two older women sitting on a bench on the platform talking in quiet hushed tones.

As we approach, I realise they are also staring at the three Norse woman but for quite different reasons.

The train finishes pulling out of the station, the women’s whispers suddenly become audible. Without warning the lead Viking drops her purse and spins around to pick it up.

We’re all caught red-handed.

Thinking they’ve been caught bitching about strangers the waiting women begin to grin guiltily.

I pretend that the green laces of my Adidas are the most interest things I have ever seen.

Meanwhile, my brother struggles to contain his laughter…

The non-awaited return of the world’s least read blog

2008-07-30T21:33:00.003Z

Those of you who thought that I had given up on blogging due to popular demand were sadly mistaken.

I have not grown tired of ranting or having a pop at the US – I just moved house and have been without the internet.

And now I’m back online I’m ready to take aim at things that have been annoying me in my absence – namely parents with pushchairs.

Ok, you’ve got children! We get it! It doesn’t mean that you can run your prams into the back of my legs when I’m trying to get into work.

Also, I’m trying to get out of the way - so don’t tut and roll your eyes when I don’t move at the speed the of light when you wnat to get past.

But the worst is pushchairs at rush hour. Unless you need to move your children during 9am or 5pm teach them to walk. What’s wrong with travelling between the hours of 10 and 4 anyway – everyone’s a winner.

Glad I go that off my chest.

People watching (Amusing things that you’ve missed in my absence)

My estate agent revealing that his hand was bandaged because a cat bit him.

A tourist with a cigarette asking a confused native if he had any ‘fire’ on him.

An angry mother in a Chinatown cake shop threatening to beat her hyperactive children ‘in every way possible’ (you had to be there!)

A man tiptoeing on a chair to fix an air conditioning unit and saying to his colleague ‘safety first’.

A grown woman crossing her arms and stomping her feet at her disobedient husband in Asda – and him promptly walking in the opposite direction pretending not to know her.

Too little too late for Olympic protestors

2008-04-12T13:45:00.003Z

Citizens of some of the world's biggest cities have been out in the streets over the past few days in protest of the China's Olympics.

There has been global outrage as the Beijing parade marches on to its final destination but are all of the protestors genuine?

It cannot be denied that China has one of the worst human rights records on the planet but where were the protestors back in 2001 when Beijing was chosen as the host city?

The world's leading governments saw an opportunity to gain investment in one of the up and coming superpowers and couldn't resist.

When the decision was made I can't remember people taking to the streets by the hundreds.

The real nub of the issue is that too many people get behind a cause because they believe it is the right thing to do, not because they actually believe in the cause itself.

And that makes a mockery of the whole notion of protest itself.

Rant of the week: Cultural aspirations

2008-03-09T14:13:00.005Z

There is something that can be said for people who are comfortable enough within themselves to take real pride in their cultural influences.

One of the most interesting things about living in a multi-racial, multi-faith Britain is the different foods, music and entertainment we are exposed to.

However, it seems that there are some who are almost ashamed of their likes and dislikes, who aspire to attain a "high-culture".

And conversely some interests are frowned as "low-culture", and it is these things that some will try and distance themselves from for fear of ridicule.

When did it become so important to have a passion for the theatre and foreign movies, when what you really want to do is watch a big budget blockbuster.

Why has it become fashionable to deny a liking for mainstream pop music, or rap and garage, and pretend to like more underground, off-the-wall music?

Is it necessary to fake an interest in fine wine and foreign cheese, when all you really want is a bit of English mature cheddar and a can of Carlsberg?

Are you opinions less valid because you read The Daily Mirror rather than The Guardian?

And who decides which cultural influences are more valid than others? Should I really like Shakespeare more than Tarantino because I am told to? Or should I just admit that Pulp Fiction is better than Othello and not care what people think?

To me it seems odd that some people are so intent at being 'classy' that they seem to disregard their true cultural habits, to become something their not.

When in reality perhaps we should just be content in liking what we like and not what we are told we should like.

Ecclestone way off the mark on Hamilton abuse

2008-02-18T20:55:00.004Z

It seems that Formula One supremo Bernie Ecclestone has never been the victim of racial abuse because his comments on the recent treatment of Lewis Hamilton are woefully wide of the mark.

Hamilton was subjected to vile abuse by a small section of the Spanish crowd during testing with McLaren last month.

And Ecclestone has claimed that the FIA's launch of an anti-racism campaign is unnecessary.

"All it does is give attention to people who want attention," he told the BBC.

"I don't think they're fans, and I don't think they were supporting [Fernando] Alonso in particular. They just like to abuse people."

Ecclestone did claim, however, that if the incident occurred again than launching an official campaign would be worthwhile.

But why should Hamilton have to accept such treatment as "an isolated incident".

The unsavoury scenario is unfortunately common across Europe's sporting arenas, with the black players of both England and England under-21 football team subjected to taunts, as well as Barcelona's Samuel Eto'o.

This would never be allowed to stand in other aspects of modern living, such as the workplace, so why should our sports stars be expected to just shrug it off.

It is only when we firmly tackle racists that they will begin to understand that their behaviour is unacceptable.

Why have corporate criminals got it so cushty?

2008-01-28T21:15:00.000Z

The recent plight of Societe Generale and rogue trader Jerome Kerviel have only served to highlight the disparity between the treatment of corporate criminals and blue collar criminals.

The French banker lost his bank, and subsequently the shareholders of the financier, £3.7 billion - a staggering sum of money even for a global bank.

But what will be the fate of this untrustworthy crook?

If he follows in the footsteps of fellow swindler Nick Leeson who lost Barings bank £827 million back in 1995, relatively little.

His actions left the firm insolvent and he was sentenced to six and half years in a Singapore prison, serving just four and being released in 1999.

What does Leeson do now?

He's a minor celebrity, who is a well-known face on the after dinner circuit and has also been the subject of a major motion picture.

So is this what awaits Kerviel?

Imagine the different treatment that Kerviel and Lesson would have received if they weren't bankers and they weren't on salaries in excess of £50,000 a year.

What if they simply went in to their local bank in balaclavas and demanded the money in unmarked bills – I'm sure that Leeson would not be out of jail now if he had.

The Kent five found guilty of a £53 million pound raid on a Securitas depot, which admittedly involved a kidnap – but no injuries to their victims, will be sentenced tomorrow.

I bet they serve more than four years each.

Rant of the week: Casual xenophobia

2008-01-14T21:53:00.000Z

Whoever said hooliganism was the English disease had obviously never heard the good folk from ol’ Blighty talking about the French...

Or the Germans, the Italians, the Australians and those fortunates from the other colonies - just what is it with the English and casual xenophobia?

It’s bizarre to think that the utterance of the odd sly comment about race, religion and gender are all frowned upon but taking someone to task about their country of origin is deemed perfectly acceptable and in most situations considered funny.

Anyone who has born in England, like I was, was raised on a diet of Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman jokes, the crude observations on foreign motoring of Jeremy Clarkson and the historical nationalistic misconceptions of Blackadder.

Everyone form these shores knows the old adages about Scots being tight with money, Irishmen being stupid, anyone from the Mediterranean being greasy and Austrlians being criminals.

The real question is that while we taunt the krauts with two World Wars and one World Cup are we making fatal mistakes?

Are we breeding the divine right of an Englishman into future generations? Mocking other countries for age old conflicts that will soon die form memory?

Maybe as a nation we suffer form illusions of grandeur.

Britain was once had a ‘great’ empire with a naval fleet the envy of the world but while the influence of the small island has died it seems in many ways the infernal arrogance still lives on.

Casual xenophobia is surely the national disease - perhaps this is the reason nationalistic slurs just roll of our tongues.

Rant of the week: Pedants

2007-12-15T22:31:00.000Z

There is nothing wrong with striving for accuracy, after all if something is worth doing, then it was worth doing right.

And there is nothing wrong with correcting mistakes - if it is done in the right spirit.

However, putting someone right isn’t about humiliation. Pointing out a simple mistake in an attempt to be witty is the trademark move of the pedant.

But who cares if Nike is pronounced Niekey, who is bothered whether the line ‘Play it again Sam’ is actually uttered in Casablanca and why can‘t I just refer to myself as me rather than I?

If you know what I mean, then why correct me?

Is there anything more irritating than those who love being technically correct?

Rant of the week: Tube paper readers

2007-12-02T19:23:00.000Z

At the best of the times using the tube network means leaving your manners on the platform.

It’s a curious place where usual British codes of conduct are left by the wayside oftening resulting in chaos.

The underground killed chivalry; young men refuse to give up seats for old ladies and women in pushchairs are shoved aside by businessmen trying to get on at Canada Water.

But this week I noticed a new breed of tube commuter - the paper reader.

Seemingly innocuous the paper ready keeps quiet and rarely peers over the top of the Financial Times to even be noticed.

However, their pattern of behaviour changes dramatically as the train gets busier.

Despite not having enough room to take my hands out of my pockets on the Jubilee Line this week, optimistic newspaper readers have been trying to maintain their habits.

And it was bloody annoying.

I stood in front of one woman who tutted, sighed and moaned every time the train lurched and I brushed against her copy of The Metro.

At one point the train stopped and I knocked the paper clean out of her hand and almost failed to stifle a chuckle as she didn’t even have the room to bend over and pick it up again.

From Monday, I’m going to make it my mission to nudge any idiot who thinks that they have the space to read a broadsheet on a packed train.

And when they react with Superman eye lasers - I’ll pretend it wasn't me.

Flood, fire, Farepak and financial distress

2007-10-27T10:25:00.000Z

If we ever needed further proof that western governments only care about their wealthy citizens this was it

Sections of Los Angeles are currently ablaze and, keen to help the good folk of the region, the US government has extended aid to the area almost immediately.

Compare that to the plight of the victims of the New Orleans floods. A delayed government reaction. Accusations of looting and rape. No immediate airborne response.

Could that be anything to do with the difference between rich, successful white people and poor, working class black people?

And for those who think the British government are any better, look at the treatment of the Northern Rock and Farepak cases.

Last year thousands of citiznes, who had to save throughout the year for a plentiful Christmas, were devastated by the collapse of Farepak.

The government did nothing. The victims will only receive a few pence out of every pound they saved and will not see any money until 2008.

And the Rock savers got their money guaranteed. The Bank of England put more than £10 billion to help keep the bank afloat.

Surely a few million could have saved Christmas for the Farepak unfortunates.

Lets face it people. It's not what your country can do for you, it's what you can do for your country.

Is freedom of speech suffering a slow death?

2007-10-08T19:20:00.000Z

Who would have though that freedom of speech was no longer an unalienable right?

First there was the situation in Burma where, although the nation's regime is oppressive, resistance was crushed so violently and so brazenly while the world looked on and did nothing.

Then there was the trouble Copenhagen where left-wing groups, punk rockers and anarchists protested the closure of the Youth House, a popular hang out where concerts and parties were often staged.

Protests in the Danish capital resulted in violence as police prevented protestors from reaching an abandoned building they hoped to make the new Youth House.

More than 400 people were arrested.

And today four members of an anti-war protest group were jailed for their efforts in London.

Hundreds of protestors made the march to Trafalgar Square after police, who had threatened to use a 100 year old law to prevent the demonstration, finally gave in to people power.

Surely, in a world where communication is key, we should not be barred from reaching out to our governments in the most effective way imaginable.

It is strange to think, that in a time where most countries have, or crave, some form of democracy, that the leaders we elect to represent us can repress us by not letting us having the most fundamental of all rights.

The right to stand up and speak our minds.

Why is no-one helping the Burmese?

2007-09-29T09:55:00.000Z

What is going on in Burma? And why is no-one doing anything to help?

In front of the eyes of the whole world the Burmese army is slaughtering peacefully protesting monks and their supporters - and while these atrocities are being caught on video the west is sitting on their hands.

And even more insulting to the plight of the protestors, the west are shifting the responsibility on China.

When an oppressive regime is slaughtering its citizens it is not up to the neighbouring nations to step in – it's the world's problem.

As always the selfish western nations, chiefly the US and the UK, are reluctant to get involved for one simple reason….

No-one from our side has died.

If a British citizen, or an American for that matter, gets caught up in this mess then there will be action.

Then the police of the world would walk the beat and start twirling his truncheon.

Obviously the life of a westerner is more important.

Look at the tsunami coverage – it wasn't about how many people died, it was how many British people died and how many American people died.

It makes you wonder why we have the United Nations if they can't be used in a situation like this.

The situation reminded me, for some reason, of 9/11, where an oppressive regime had its hand in the death of a number of its own people.

However, when American lives are lost the west falls over itself to provide relief and condolences.

Racism caused by brain shrinkage?

2007-09-24T19:06:00.000Z

There is northing worse then people playing the race card.

One of the most serious allegations that can be levelled against someone is that they are racist - so it is abhorrent when the few, no matter what their race, bandy the term about.

However, where racism is clearly evident it cannot and should not be excused.

Which is why I was extremely sceptical of new research produced by Bill von Hippel of the University of Queensland.

According to von Hippel, brain atrophy can account for some of the racist language used by the elderly.

Brain atrophy is the shrinking of the brain as we age - and this new study claims that this can lead to 'unintended racism'.

von Hippel says: "Because prejudice toward African Americans conflicts with prevailing egalitarian beliefs, older adults attempt to inhibit their racist feelings, but fail."

Senility can cause an untold range of problems but is it logical enough to cause racism in some cases and not in others.

And why would it effect just the white population?

It seems to me that this study attempts to put a biological reason behind the evils of bigotry and that is something which is hard to swallow.

After all, wouldn't young racists simply have the tendency to turn into old racists?

Treatment of the McCanns beyond biased

2007-09-23T12:03:00.001Z

I have been very disappointed throughout the whole of the Madeleine McCann furore and the media treatment of the couple.

Since the child disappeared they press have been nothing short of scandalous.

It seems that, in the eyes of the British press, the parents, who are incredibly irresponsible, can do no wrong.

The tabloids, and unfortunately some of the broadsheets, have been more interested in damning the Portuguese police than providing an accurate account of a mising child.

A newspaper is supposed to act like a mirror held up to society, reflecting the events so that the public can see the world for what it is.

But for some reason, maybe it's a class issue or maybe even a race issue, the McCanns seem to be exempt form criticism.

And it seems to me that they deserve to be criticised. It must be hard to lose a daughter but at the very least they have been awful parents.

Why would any parents in their right mind continually leave three young children on their own, at night, while they go out for a drink?

There are also rumours that they couple drugged their children - with the police claiming that the McCanns other children were difficult to awaken after their elder sister went missing.

The fact remains that only the McCanns know whether or not they were involved in the death of their child.

So I don't know why the Daily Mail is so sure that they are innocent.

Why is Di's death still an issue ten years on?

2007-09-02T17:56:00.000Z

I couldn't have agreed more with Polly Toynbee's piece in Saturday's Guardian concerning the tenth anniversary of the death of Diana.

It's funny to think that more than a decade after the death of a pampered Princess -who by all accounts just did the odd bit of charity work - that there is still so much media interest.

"For outside the chapel, where police with barriers expected multitudes, there were barely more watchers than at an ordinary August changing of the guard. An outraged Daily Telegraph had called for ten giant screens to satisfy the expected throng, Toynbee wrote.

"But journalists and camera crews from around the world almost outnumbered Royalists, with a shortage of Diana worshippers to film. Most who thinly lined the rails were curious tourists, few were British. Whatever that strange wailing, teddy-bear hugging spasm of public anguish was ten years ago, it ended here yesterday."

And I totally agree. I was actually glad to see that hardly anyone turned up for the tenth anniversary service because it was ludicrous.

The fact of the matter is that ten years ago a normal, average, run-of the-mill woman died. She just happened to be a princess. It was a tragic end to the life of a lady who the public did not personally - so why all the crying and candlelit vigils?

I just hope that the whole matter would just be put to bed once and for all.

Seeing Diana on the front of every right-wing claptrap broadsheet and tabloid was getting beyond tiresome.

Sotherton must realise it's innocent until proven guilty

2007-08-27T10:56:00.000Z

I used to have a lot of respect for Kelly Sotherton.

Despite British athletics being a bit of a joke following the retirement of Linford Christie, Colin Jackson and Sally Gunnell, I was happy to see Sotherton land her World Championship bronze and Jessica Ennis claim a credible fourth place.

But then came the bitterness – the athlete in the silver medallist Lyudmila Blonska had served a two year ban for drugs in 2003.

And this was Sotherton's response: "She has cheated once, who says she is not cheating again?

"We're not interested when she's there, we don't support cheats. It tarnishes our event and we don't support it."

Considering the state of British atletics with the Dwayne Chambers and Christine Ohuruogu debacle, such comments not only seem unbelievably bitter but also incredibly hypocritical.

It may yet turn out that Blonska fails a drug test. If that is the case then such comments can be made but not before then.

She did wrong and served her time and needs to be treated with a little bit more respect.

Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?

The only thing that Holyfield will defeat is his legacy

2007-08-02T19:09:00.000Z

Why is that boxers don't know the meaning of the word retire?

The way I always understood it was that when you retire you gave something up permanently

Evander Holyfield, at the age of 44, has been handed yet another opportunity to lace the gloves for a title shot against Russian WBO champion Sultan Ibragimov.

Not only is the situation farcical but it is also quite dangerous., the last time Holyfield 'retired' in 2004 it was only after suffering a beating at the hands Larry Donald. He was rightly suspended form boxing for medical reasons.

This isn’t his first fight since the Donald incident but I will be the first time he will actually be in a contest - and a potentially harmful one at that.

Most boxing fans will agree that one of the most magical elements of pugilism is its legacy.

Boxers are famous for the memories they have left behind, the legend outlives the man, but too often do boxers comeback for one last failed attempt at glory – just ask Rocky Balboa.

So I implore you Evander, pick up your dictionary and open it to the letter 'r'.

Actually, I'll save you the effort: "Retire - to withdraw from office, business, or active life permanently usually because of age".

Cheating doesn’t end with the ‘Tour de Farce’

2007-07-28T21:19:00.000Z

I always thought that athletics was the most drug ridden sport in the world but this week I had the chance to see some of the farcical Tour de France.

Cycling is a sport that commands endurance, speed – and apparently steroids.

However, while I was heaping scorn upon cyclists, especially Michael Rasmussen who was too cowardly to even take a drugs test, I began to think of examples of the dark arts at work in other sports.

In athletics Ben Johnson, Jason Gatlin and any Eastern Bloc women of the 1980s were doped up to the eyeballs.

Cricket, just wasn’t cricket, when Hanse Cronje was found guilty of match fixing and Michael Atherton caught ball tampering.

Horse racing is supposedly the ‘sport of kings’ but betting scandals are rife.

Formula One had Michael Schumacher the flawed genius with a penchant for rule bending and now it has wayward designers who deal in espionage.

Even the beautiful game is rotten to the core with diving, match fixing and bungs.

The beauty of sport is the thrill of competition but no-one likes an uneven contest especially if one party has cheated to gain that advantage.

What it comes down to is who has the guts to tackle the cheats?

Who will stand up to those that are ruining world sport?

Only the cycling authorities have the intestinal fortitude to tackle its demons and that puts it in a league of its own.

As funny as it seems other sports could learn from cycling – they should certainly sit up and take note.

Overpriced and overcrowded: Why I hate the railways

2007-07-24T19:42:00.000Z

Not being able to drive has put me in the awkward position of having to use public transport. I don't mind the bus and I'm sure I could handle the tram but I absolutely despise the train.

Every week I pay £86 for the privelege to wait in the rain and turn up for work late. To get in on time I have to fold myself up and squeeze into spaces that would cause a contortionist problems.

Putting it at its simplest, trains in the UK are scandalously overpriced and dangerously overcrowded. And they're never on time.

Ruth Kelly has said the government are willing to pledge millions to improve the service by 2030. 2030? It's a damning indictment of the state of the railways if it will take more than twenty years to fix.

A good start would be to make trains cheaper. Maybe the franchises should be charged less or the government should subsidise it, either way it should cost less for the current state it is in.

Somehow they need to adress the problem of overcrowding. On the tube, where there is no standard of human conduct, people faint becasue they are packed in so tight.

There are no easy answers, all I know is that the service needs immediate improvement.

Maybe we, the rail passengers, should start a union. Lets make placards, chant catchy slogans and refuse to pay our fares.

Or maybe I'll just call the BSM.

I thought you had heart Jamie

2007-07-21T10:25:00.000Z

Admittedly it's not the the most topical football story but I am still in shock over Jamie Carragher's decision to quit international football.

Personally, I think that Carragher is a good player, not great but good. Like many England internationals he is overrated but that is not really the point - my problem with Carragher is that he won't play for his country because he is not a first team regular.

International football is supposed to be the pinnacle of a professional footballers career. Although the Champions League is probably of a higher standard, representing your country is supposed to be the gold standard.

So, Mr Carragher, upset that he is not better than John Terry, Rio Ferdinand or even a fully-fit Jonathon Woodgate has thrown his toys out of the pram and just quit.

Liverpool fans say that he has heart and passion - obviously they are wrong.

No apocalypse at the Emirates

2007-07-21T09:49:00.000Z

After two years of will he, won't he Thierry Henry has finally left Arsenal. It is obviously disappointing for any Arsenal fan and any English football aficionado but it is not the end of the road for the Gunners.

I've lost count of the smug Liverpool, Man Utd and Tottenham fans who are predicting the end of days at the Emirates but are mistaken. There is only one irreplacable man at Arsenal - Arsene Wenger.

Although a big club, in many ways Arsenal are a selling club. Since Wenger has been there he has had to sell off many players who simply wanted to move on to pastures new.

Think of the player he has had to sell - Marc Overmars, Emmanuel Petit, Nicolas Anelka and Patrick Viera and the club has not only bounced back but also found suitable replacements for each of those players among them Thierry Henry and Cesc Fabregas.

The magical thing about Arsene Wenger is that he always has less money to spend than the other big three but Arsenal always compete. Most of the players brought to the club were unknown or out of favour and then reinvented by Wenger.

Arsenal have a young squad now of relatively unknown but highly talented and very promising yougsters - and as long as Arsene remains at the helm anything is possible.

Apathetic West Indies contribute to one-sided series

2007-06-11T18:29:00.000Z

West Indies bold attempt to chase a world record 455 to win against England in the third test at Old Trafford gave the cricket viewing public a glimpse of what might have been.

The chase fell a valiant 60 runs short and it was the first time in the series that the tourists showed some intestinal fortitude. Had they been this gutsy at the beginning maybe the test series would have been less one sided.

The West Indies were outplayed in the first test at Lords and were destroyed in the second test at Headingly losing by an innings and 283 runs.

The absence of retired ex-captain Brian Lara has been a massive blow and there batting order is obviously much weaker without him. However, his retirement says much more about the state of West Indian cricket than it does about him.

Without him in the time the West Indies have rarely looked like they can bat for a full 90 over day. Without him in the side it is hard to see where there next victory will come from.

The loss of big players was compounded when Ramnaresh Sarwan was ruled out of the remainder the series after injuring his shoulder on the first day of play. However, the tourists suffered a bigger loss…a loss of desire.

Never before have I witnessed a test series where one side has looked like they didn’t care less about the result. The resistance offered by Shivnarine Chanderpaul on the final day was refreshing in a contest where his team-mates, Darren Sammy aside, seemed so indifferent.

Chief among them is Chris Gayle, I have heard Gayle called relaxed, laid-back and cool but I think the best way to describe him is apathetic. He looks like he doesn’t care. He fields lazily, runs a single like he is strolling in the park and bowls no balls from a three step run-up.

The third test was simply a case of to little to late. It was the first time in the series that the visitors went down fighting and they have fully deserved to lose.

It is a tragedy that a side like the West Indies that dominating the cricketing world for two decades cannot produce a side that is capable of challenging the best of them but it is a travesty that the current crop do not seem to understand what it means to represent a team steeped in history and to follow in the footsteps of true legends.

Fatal wounding of policeman indicative of town's problems

2007-06-11T15:36:00.000Z

Today a policeman was stabbed to death and two other people were injured in a serious incident in Luton.

PC Jonathon Charles Henry was attacked and fatally wounded as he tried to attend to a window cleaner who has been stabbed several times in what seems to be an unprovoked attack.

Such incidents greatly sadden me, the police are heavily criticised but their job is to protect the public. How can someone launch an unprovoked attack on a person whose job it is to keep us safe from harm?

This incident also struck a chord with me as it happened in Luton. Being born and bred in the town I champion it against its critics but recently I have had to remain quiet.

I cant remember the last time I heard news from Luton that was positive to the community. There is a history of racial problems, the crime and murder rates are high and i was once voted the worst town in the country.

An event like this cannot be blamed on the town and the individual responsible must be dealt with appropriately.

However, as a proud Lutonian it hurts me that such incidents and others, occur in our town perpetrated by our residents.

We really to tackle our negative elements in Luton before things in the town get worse.

Much ado about nothing

2007-06-10T00:12:00.000Z

This week Channel 4 broadcast their controversial documentary detailing the final moment's of Diana's life and I was mildly disappointed to discover that it was much ado about nothing.

The documentary, Diana: The Witness in the Tunnel, provoked outrage and even prompted the princes to speak out against it.

It seems that dissenters should have waited until they say the programme before they gave such spirited protests.

Not only did the program deal with the death of the Princess sensitively but the photographs it used were not gratuitous and were appropriately censored.

It turned out to be a documentary not about Diana herself but the plight of the paparazzi who were inappropriately used as a scapegoat for the incident.

Channel 4 were able to attract 3.8 million viewers for their show helped largely by the over the top and premature reaction of those who see any treatment of Diana's death as disrespectful.

The McCanns and the media circus

2007-06-09T23:30:00.000Z

At the risk of sounding very unpopular I think that is about time that the McCanns took a break from courting the media limelight and began to reflect on the actual whereabouts of their missing daughter Madeleine.

They have suffered a tragedy that must be every parents worst nightmare and my heart, and indeed the hearts of the nation, are with them but it is inappropriate for them to be touring Europe.

I understand that the purpose of these trips are to raise awareness of the missing girl but I think it is grossly unfair to devote such time and attention to one case where others are just left with the odd page in the national press. It also unnecessary for the McCanns to have an audience with the Pope where there surely must be others more in need.

I find it dismaying that some stories are subject to great media bias where others are afforded little coverage. Madeleine is not the first child to go missing and nor is she the last but I cannot recall any other occassion when a child has gone missing and their has been a continental tour of appeal for their return.

The media has heralded the strength and courage of the McCanns but has refused to criticise there inexplicable decision to leave three children under the age of four alone and unattended in a foreign country without even locking a door.

The McCanns appear to be becoming minor celebrities due to their irresponsible behaviour and this is must not be allowed to happen.

I am with everyone who wishes for a safe return of Madeleine but the time has come for them to stop playing ringmaster to the media circus and actually start working with the Portuguese police to find their missing child.

Emily meant no offence but had to go

2007-06-09T22:53:00.000Z

Another Big Brother race row exploded this week as Emily Parr directed a racial slur at fellow housemate Charley Uchea.

Anyone who follows the television show will be aware of the controversy that followed last year when Shilpa Shetty was subject to racial bullying.

With that in mind it seemed obvious that any racial disharmony this time round would be dealt with in the most serious manner and when Emily was removed from the house there could be no complaints.

However, I think that I may be alone in expresssing sympathy for this naive young woman. Emily seemed to be making a misjudged attempt, as a middle class white woman, to speak to a young black female, on what she thought was her own level. It backfired... badly.

It is obvious that she used the word so comfortably that it must have been part of her vocubalry but labelling someone as a racist is a serious allegation.

The word in question has become so fashionable, mainly due to the popularity of rap music, that it may be part of the language of many young people. both black and white. While what Emily said was wrong it was not intended to cause harm.

As much as Emily would like to think that she is an intelligent and street wise young woman she has a lot to learn and her comment was plainly stupid.

But calling her racist is a step too far.

County back in big time after play-off rollercoaster

2007-05-29T01:03:00.000Z

After five years outside the top-flight of English football Derby County finally made it back to the big time with their 1-0 defeat of West Bromwich Albion.

Stephen Pearson’s first goal for the club came at the crucial moment and the Rams will rub shoulders with the Premiership elite next season.

Personally, as a neutral to the play-offs it was heartening to see the team that finished in third position gaining promotion especially as Derby were so close to going up automatically.

Hence we are faced with the same question we arrive at every May: Are the play-offs fair?

Traditionally, it is the team that is in good form that is victorious and that team has often had a good late run of results to scrape into the play-offs in the first place.

The examples are numerous but one relevant recent case in point is that of Bristol Rovers.
Bristol had an excellent run towards the end of the season winning four times and drawing twice in their last six games, including a 1-0 win over Swindon on the final day, to sneak into the top seven.

Rovers beat Shrewsbury 3-1 on Saturday to gain promotion to League 1 despite finishing sixth.

The plight of Derby was quite different; they were always in contention for the automatic places and without Roy Keane and Sunderland’s heroics they may well have made it into the top two.
They finished the season eight points better than West Brom and deserved promotion but sadly the third place team often misses out.

Despite this obvious injustice, we need only think back to the days before play-offs to remember how dull football could be. After Christmas there were dozens of lower league teams with nothing to play for, as they were not promotion contenders or relegation candidates, and many games were effectively rendered meaningless.

Alternatives to the current play-off system have been touted; most interesting of them is putting the team just outside automatic promotion directly in the final with the other three teams slugging it out for the remaining place. This would give the highest placed team a deserved advantage.

However, we cannot afford do away with the play-offs all together, it is heart-wrenching for any season to come down to just one game, where one moment can be the difference between playing at Stamford Bridge and Old Trafford or Deepdale and Oakwell

As unfair is it may seem it makes football truly entertaining and after all isn’t that the point?

Justice must be in done in Jena

2007-05-26T15:31:00.000Z

Jena, Lousiana, is a tiny old-fashioned town. It seems like nothing has changed in the last forty years... and that includes race relations.

Six black students are about to go on trial for the alleged assault of a white student and face between 30 and 50 years in prison.

The shocking events that led to the trial and the effect that it has had on the people have Jena have echoed the civil rights struggles of the 60's.

It began when a black student asked the staff of the school if he could sit under a tree that was traditionally reserved for white students, another throwback the troubled era, and was told that he was free to sit anywhere, he decided to break tradition and relax under the tree.

The following day the students arrived at the school to find three nooses hanging from the same tree.

The incident split the community and heightened tension at the school. The majority of the white residents regarded it as a tasteless prank.

The black residents regarded the issue as far more serious. It was considered a symbolic and threatening gesture, a reminder of white domination in the region.

When the culprits had the expulsion from the school reversed and instead received three day suspensions it was just a matter of when a spark would light the powder keg.

Soon after that the alleged attack happened, six black students allegedly attacked a white student who suffered bruises and concussion but was seen later enjoying a night out.

The culprits, were brought in but instead of being charged with assault and battery were charged with attempted second degree murder and could face up to fifty years in prison.

The police were more even handed than the local newspaper who didn't even say the attack was an alleged attack thus declaring the boys guilty in an attack it called 'the worst in school history'.

There is no doubt that violence in many cases is wrong but under such provocation it is surely unfair to punish a school fight with 50 years in prison.

Justice must be done and the rule of law must be applied otherwise American race relations could suffer a blow from which it may never recover.

Time to believe 9/11 conspiracy theories?

2007-05-24T21:47:00.000Z

Being a sceptical person its not often that I believe in any sort of conspiracy theories but I saw something recently which gave me sleepless nights.

The movie, 9/11 - Loose Change, can be viewed by following this link http://www.tv-links.co.uk/show.do/4/1449 and its theories are mind blowing.

What is most disturbing is that many of the claims are backed up with hard evidence which is laid bare, some of it from the actual footage of the atrocity.

The movie does not claim that the acts were perpetrated by the US government but seriously dents the official accounts of what happened.

Without giving too much of the documentary away two of the most shocking claims are that the Pentagon was actually hit by a missile and that the World Trade Centre towers were brought down by a controlled explosion.

As far fetched as this may sound I urge everyone who visits this blog to follow this link and then comment on this post.

It will change your opinions forever.

Why didn't Scott warn Steve?

2007-05-22T19:41:00.001Z

Chelsea have beaten a host of rivals for the signature of highly rated Reading midfielder Steve Sidwell.

Sidwell, has passed his medical and will be joining Chelsea on the 1st July and must be ecstatic to be joining a club of such high stature as he looks to further his career.

I've been lucky enough to see Sidwell play at the Madejski and he is certainly a good player. Far too good for Chelsea reserves.

The whole situation is eerily similar to that of Scott Parker. Parker was in tremendous form for Charlton when he decided to make the move to Stamford Bridge, which was followed by a stint on the bench and then a career resurrecting move to Newcastle Utd.

Think of all the central midfielders that Chelsea have already; Michael Essien, Claude Makelele, John Obi Mikel, Frank Lampard and Michael Ballack. Where will Sidwell fit into this? Mourinho finds it very difficult to drop Lampard even when he is playing badly so it looks like Sidwell is fighting for one place.

I'm sure the lure of Chelsea is probably too strong for a young footballer to resist but the plight of Scott Parker should serve as a cautionary tale to anyone who makes Abrahmovic want to open up his chequebook.

Don't be surprised to see Sidwell turn up at Newcastle in two or three seasons.

Pay-as-you-go roads scheme driven forward

2007-05-22T19:22:00.000Z

According to a BBC survey 74% of the public are against the proposals for pay-as-you-go roads that will charge motorists by the mile. However, the Government has still pressed ahead with plans to do just that.

Draft legislation, the Local Transport Bill, has been published that will allow interested local authorities to implement the scheme on a trial basis.

It is easy to understand why there is so much oppposition to the plans. One of the reasons for the state of the traffic on British roads is the very poor standard of public transport. With trains and buses being over-priced and rarely punctual who can blame people for using their cars instead.

The scheme will just be another excuse to raise tax revunue from motorists. The very same motorists who pay through their teeth for petrol, MOT and insurance.

Don't pluck Lewis before he has flowered

2007-05-14T22:45:00.000Z

There is no doubt that Lewis Hamilton has had one of the best starts of any of the F1 drivers this country has produced. He has immense talent but there is a serious of danger of piling too much pressure on him.

The F1 season is only a few races old and already there is talk of Hamilton becoming a world champion in his first season. It's not that it is not possible, it could happen, but it is both unfair and dangerous to put so much pressure and weight of expectation on the youngster.
It is something that tends to happen whenever there is any promising British talent. When Wayne Rooney burst into the Everton first team he was compared with Pele and now the nations hopes sit squarely and unfairly on his shoulders. Andy Murray probably understands what he is going through.

The most sensible thing to do would be not to over hype and add to the pressure that these talented young men feel but to support them.

They media must make them feel like losing is a complete failure and for sportsmen so young it is all part of a steep learning curve.

Let's not to do to Lewis what we did to Jenson.

What to do with West Ham

2007-05-14T22:16:00.000Z

"7 wins out of 9 games is Champions League form". That is Tony Cottee's opinion of West Ham's great escape which is statistically the finest rescue escape in the post war era.

However, there are still question marks over the registration of Carlos Tevez and whether West Ham should be allowed to retain their place among England's elite.

West Ham were fined £5.5 million for the improper registration of Tevez but it can be argued that it was grossly unfair. Premiership survival has been estimated at a value of £30 million, in that respect surely a points deduction would have been appropriate?

Not according to the Premier League.

In their reasoning of the fine they argued that it would be unfair to the fans to punish them for West Ham's misgivings. That reasoning is illogical and would not deter other teams from playing ineligible players in the future safe in the knowledge it would not result in a loss of league position.

If Manchester Utd had beaten West Ham on the final day it would have been poetic justice for Sheffield Utd who failed to beat the drop and there would not be the prospect of a prolonged high court battle, which will be a terrible blow for English football.

There is no doubt that West Ham were fantastic but they clearly and severely breached the rules. Much of their success is owed to Tevez ,who should never have been allowed to play, and it would be unjust if they were allowed to remain in the Premiership.

If we don't have fair play then the game has no integrity; West Ham have to go.

The war on Iraq: The day the legacy died

2007-05-13T08:47:00.000Z

The 27th of June will mark the end of an era.

Tony Blair will step down as Prime Minister and is likely to be replaced by Gordon Brown and the protracted Labour leadership issue will finally be resolved.

However, Blair may not be fondly remembered for one fundamental reason: Iraq.

Blair and New Labour swept to power in 1997 and promised that 'things could only get better' and domestically it did.

Cast your mind back over the Blair decade and there are numerous changes that were made for the good.

The Human Rights Act, the lowering of the homosexual age of consent to sixteen and the ban on foxhunting are just a few and in addition the economy has thrived under chancellor Brown.

As leader as a major world power mistakes will be made and there have been decisions that have been less than astute: the introduction of university top-up fees, the cash for honours scandal and the shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes will all leave a stain on his legacy and rightly so.

However, due to the massive failure of his foreign policy, most of his good work will go unrewarded. The war on terror was a huge mistake but the decision to ally himself so closely with George Bush and the war in Iraq sealed his fate.

All leaders should be judged on all the major decisions that they had to make not just one issue but Blair will remain synonymous with the war, especially because he flew in the face of so much opposition.

It was his decision and it was his fault and even though he says he honestly believed he was doing the right thing I am sure he regrets it.

If not for Iraq, Blair may have gone down with Atlee as one of the greatest Labour prime ministers of all time.

Now he may just be remembered as George Bush's lap dog.

Arsenal and Liverpool: Up your game

2007-05-10T07:18:00.000Z

As the football season draws to a close many neutrals must have been left with a sense of what might have been.

It looked like the title race, for the first time in years, would go right down to the last day of the season with Man Utd's visit to Stamford Bridge being a title decider.

Hats of to Sir Alex for wrapping the title up earlier. Man Utd have been brilliant since the beginning of the Premiership fighting of Blackburn, Newcastle, Arsenal and now Chelsea to lift yet another Premiership trophy.

But is English football dull and predictable? Realistically, only four teams can win the title and to be honest for the last few seasons Arsenal and Liverpool haven't really come that close.

Liverpool have been very good in Europe under Benitez but domestically they have been inconsistent.

Arsenal have fared slightly better but are immensely frustrating. This year they completed the 'double' over Man Utd, beat Liverpool on numerous occasions and drew twice with Chelsea. If they had beaten some of the lesser sides that the title race may have been a different story.

The fact of the matter is that almost every season we can predict the top four and that has meant that most of the Premiership, especially teams like Tottenham and Everton are playing for the Uefa Cup.

Liverpool and Arsenal have the ability to make a two horse race into a four horse race if they can improve on disappointing league campaigns next season.

If it would have been great to see another title decided on the last day, imagine how exciting it would be if there were still four title challengers at Easter.

After all, this isn't Scotland.

Government of the 'living dead'

2007-05-10T06:58:00.000Z

I think that David Cameron's assessment of the Labour government was spot on. They are certainly the 'living dead' .

They were handed the embarrassment of a crushing defeat in the local elections but this isn't the real problem.

The labour government has stagnated because of Tony Blair. He has tried to cling to power to build a 'legacy'.

The truth of that matter is that by refusing to name a date and let Gordon Brown mount his leadership challenge for months he has ruined his legacy.

We have had ten years of Mr Blair and foreign policy and top-up fees aside he has done his utmost to clean the mess that the Conservatives left the country in.

But his time was up a while ago and this fiasco will certainly affect the way that he is viewed in the history books.

Personally, I feel sorry for Gordon Brown.

He won't be in charge for very long.

Fertiliser Plot: The need for a 7/7 independent inquiry

2007-05-02T22:30:00.000Z

The end of the fertiliser bomb plot, in which five men were jailed for life, is yet another reason why there must be an independent inquiry into the 7/7 attacks.

It transpired during the trial that members of the fertiliser plot had met with those responsible for 7/7, most notably Mohammad Sidique Khan, who was followed by police on numerous occasions.

The truth of the matter is that with the intelligence available to the police and MI5 more could and perhaps should have been done.

The public understand how difficult it must be to co-ordinate counter terrorism intelligence effectively. However with the successful scuppering of the fertiliser plot it is easy to see why many think that 7/7 may have been avoidable.

The public faith in those who protect us must be dwindling especially after the shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes and the only way to restore confidence would be to show us that they are doing all the can to protect the nation.

Transparency then is surely the key. With the inquiry looking unlikely it seems as if poor use of intelligence is being swept under the carpet.

With 52 people dead surely it is time for the Government to answer the most important question of all: How could this have happened?

ICC let world down

2007-04-30T07:33:00.001Z

I love cricket but from beginning to end the Cricket World Cup was a farce.

Cricket is already an unfashionable sport, especially in England and the World Cup has done nothing to showcase the game and attract the world's youth.

The fixture scheduling was so bad that the West Indies played three days in a row.

The tickets were so highly priced that the ordinary local man couldn't afford to attend.

The final was blighted by a comedy of errors and its final overs were bowled out in the dark.

The tournament was so long that by the end I had forgotten the beginning.

And of course there was the murder of Bob Woolmer.

On this display Cricket will not only continue to be seen as dull but also as a laughing stock... and the ICC is to blame.

Scared of St. George's?

2007-04-23T07:44:00.001Z

Having being born in England but having parents from the West Indies I have always had a hybrid of cultures.

In some ways I consider myself an Englishman and yet there are some parts of the English culture, because they were never present in my household, are totally foreign to me.

As an ethnic person and an English person, I often try to ignore the ranting of random bigots and of course the BNP who try to make me feel as foreign as possible.

Maybe that's the problem with St. George's Day. Many immigrants and sons and daughters of immigrants would love to feel a part of the country but are often soured by the small minded and the plight of their parents.

With the cross of St. George having being seized by football hooligans and other thugs, many English people are scared of displaying their flag. It should be a symbol of pride but is now a symbol of fear. We need to emancipate the cross!

We are a nation built in the free labour of slavery and of the plundering of riches from other countries (sometimes known as 'The British Empire'). The legacy of this is that we have a multi-cultural, diverse and exciting society.

I think that this is what St. George's day should be about. Celebrating the country for what it is today.

Why the US can't plead the 5th on the 2nd

2007-04-17T06:15:00.000Z

The second amendment of the US constitution gives all Americans the right to bear arms. Apparently this is a hangover from the post colonial years where a fledgling nation needed to give its citizens more protection.

Whatever the reason there is surely a need for control in the US today.

I am only 23 years old yet even I can remember several school shooting tragedies. The events of yesterday in Virginia which left 33 dead are shocking yet are becoming far too familiar.

It seems to me that the NRA and other gun activists must have the government in some sort of stronghold because I can think of no serious reason against tighter gun laws in the US.

The students at Virgina Tec were not allowed guns on campus. This alarms me, not because they couldn't return fire but, because it will give gun enthusiasts more ammunition.

They will point out the right to bear arms did not extend to the students and that this cannot be allowed.

Surely disarming everyone instead of arming everyone is the solution to this problem.

It often takes a tragedy such as this for the issue to be discussed but I would imagine the amount of people that die in these incidents are vastly out-numbered by those who have died in one-on-one incidents, accidents and gang violence.

Yesterday, I heard the American national anthem and for once I fully understood it.

It is the land of the free, so free in fact that you can take a gun into a place of learning and wreak havoc.

And the home of the brave, so brave that you need amazing courage to live under such conditions.

Dangers of the job

2007-04-16T06:57:00.000Z

The plight of BBC correspondant Alan Johnston has once again underlined the dangers of journalism.

Johnston, who was seized at gunpoint in Gaza on 12 March, is now believed to be dead.

It is the job of the journalist to hold a mirror up to the world and to show the public its reflection.

It is sad to think that innocents trying to do a job can be caught up in the very politics theyy are trying to portray.

Fingers crossed that Alan will return safely but his capture only re-iterates the implications of

being a foreign correspondent.

It is sad to think that some have to take their lives in their hands just to keep us informed.

Admit it... we are biased

2007-04-12T21:57:00.000Z

As a student of journalism it upsets me to have to say this but at times I have to despair for the British media. The bias it displays is too embarrassing for words.

This manifests itself in all the popular medium: from broadsheet to tabloid newspapers to television programmes and radio broadcasts.

I could cite many thousands of examples but here a just a few that happen to stick in my mind.

1. The Death of Princess Diana
The death of the Princess occurred only shortly before the death of Mother Theresa, a modern day saint., Diana stories had all the headlines and still continues to do so.

2. Jeremy Clarkson
Has clearly made xenophobic comments on television and still holds down a job at the BBC. Unacceptable

3. British Casualties in major incidents
It is obviously very important when disaster strikes to keep us informed of the British plight in case a loved has been injured, however it seems to me that a British life is worth more. Tragedies that don't involve the British are rarely even covered.

4. The amount of foreign affairs coverage in newspapers
Tabloids like the Sun and the Mirror have little or no foreign coverage and a Baghdad blast is seen as less newsworthy than Pete Doherty's latest stint in rehab. The broadsheets do a little better but there is still room for improvement.

.... and for me by far the worst is the coverage of sport.

There are some many things wrong here it is untrue.

English sportsman are over hyped and under perform (look at the likes of Wayne Rooney and Frank Lampard compared to say Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and Michael Essien and you tell me who has played better this season).

Commentary should be about describing the action not cheering your team on. This isn't SkySports Fanzone. Andy Gray lost it when Gerrard scored against Olympiakos, David Pleat loses it every time Spurs are on ITV and Ian Wright loves England too much to provide any sort of sensible analysis.

Then there is cheating versus gamesmanship. Michael Owen dives and Cristiano Ronaldo dives. The difference is that Owen is guilty of gamesmanship and Ronaldo is a cheat.

And when English fans have behaved badly and the police have reacted they are always seen as being heavy handed. Hooligans are still a problem in this country and we need to wise up to it.

I could go on and on but it would get boring. The point is that although we are patriotic it doesn't mean with have to be idiotic. There is no need to be biased or derogatory in our media representations.

I'd love like to see important news at the front of a paper and not just British celebrity nonsense.

The next time England fail in another major tournament of any sport I want us to hold our hands up and admit we were shit.

There can't always be a scapegoat.

Credit where its due

2007-04-11T07:00:00.000Z

Being an Arsenal fan I have spent every season with my fingers crossed praying for two things. Arsenal victories and Man Utd defeats. To be honest Spurs don't really me bother because they haven't been our title rivals for years.

Yesterday I had to give credit where it was due. As much as I was depressed at the manor in which Man Utd tore Roma to shreds I had to admire the pure class they displayed. Last season he was a one trick pony but Cristiano Ronaldo has been the finest player in the Premiership this season.

As far as I am concerned Man Utd, because of the way they play, (obviously not as attractive Arsenal but pretty nonetheless) are the lesser of two evils, the other being Chelsea and if they win the title it would be some achievement considering the sold Ruud Van Nistlerooy and only brought in Michael Carrick.

They better not win the treble though!

Megan's Law

2007-04-10T21:34:00.000Z

No-one would disagree that children should be able to live their lives totally free of harassment. Most would also agree that parents peace of mind about their children's safety is very important but I think that introducing a version of Megan's Law (incidentally to be called Sarah's Law in the UK, after Sarah Payne) would be unjust.

Following a Government report a UK version may be more restricted than the US version with parents being able to request information on local sex offenders but not given their names.

If people in the area are of such a danger to children that parents need to know about them should they really be allowed to live freely in the community?
More importantly without a foolproof justice system what about those falsely accused of such offences? What about the notion of rehabilitation?

These plans raise more questions than answers.

I am sure that if people find out that there is even a possibility of sex offenders in their community fingers will be pointed at the innocent. When the public gets the wind in its sails who knows what will happen?

Paediatricians will once again live in fear.